The Sheer Joy

It is very difficult to express how much joy I am deriving from playing the piano once again. Having the opportunity to revive a passion is a rare experience and I’ve discovered that going back to my piano studies has made my life so much richer. There is the inevitable challenge of returning to the keyboard and awakening the skills that lay dormant in me for so many years, but I am relishing that challenge each time I sit down at the piano. In the beginning, frustration is a frequent emotion as well as other obvious hurdles I have to overcome, such as nervousness, my sense of impatience, solidifying my sight-reading and developing the dexterity in my fingers – all of which are that much more difficult in later years. But I also feel a renewed sense of determination that I did not have as a child that pushes me in a more focused direction. I willingly sit down at the piano each day with a real sense of purpose and determination that I did not have as a 10 year old. I find practicing to be absorbing and gratifying and will easily clock 3-4 hours over the course of the day.

I am also making continual and fascinating discoveries regarding how our brains retain information and how our fingers develop muscle memory. The process is an amazing and intriguing one. Each day I learn something new about myself, as I make little leaps of progress. Sometimes it is two steps forward and one step back and other times it is one step forward and two steps back. But remarkably the brain “figures it out”, and over time, I will see a breakthrough that is so utterly exhilarating, it takes my breath away. When I least expect it, I will hear and see myself effortlessly play a passage that I had struggled with for days. I may then lose it for a little bit, but it does eventually come back. Of course, achieving consistency is the real hallmark of ultimate progress and I know in time, that too, will come.

I feel truly blessed to be able to pursue this love of music that I hold so dear in my life. I am also very fortunate to be able to study with an inspiring and supportive teacher that knows just how much to push me, so I can realize my potential. What that potential is at this point, I cannot tell, but the journey is an instructive one, to be sure, and a glorious pursuit.

"The Children of Chabannes"

I seem to be in a movie phase, but as we tend to watch many Netflix rentals at home, this is no surprise to me, nor friends and family that know us. Tonight, my husband and I watched a wonderful documentary called "The Children of Chabannes". Just when you think there simply can't be one more movie about Jews being rescued during the Holocaust, along comes another gem to surprise your brain and elevate your spirits. And, we can always make room for a movie about decent human beings - after all, this world in many ways has not yet learned the lessons of the mid-twentieth century.

The movie tells of a small, isolated agricultural community in southern France, in the region of Creuse. There, a remarkable group of people led by Felix Chevrier, sheltered some 400 Jewish children (from Germany and Austria) who were "released" by their parents for safety, as their parents were sent east to a certain death. The very notion of giving up one's children under any conditions is almost unthinkable, but that these parents were able to separate during a time of war speaks volumes about their courage. With the help of the children's aid society (OSE), these children came to be sheltered by decent and nurturing French men and women who ultimately would serve as surrogate parents. The townspeople, having little to no previous exposure to Jews, and no access to the anti-Semitic railings of the Parisian newspapers, were able to retain their humanity and saw only threatened children in need.

They attempted to provide as normal a life as possible, integrating the Jewish refugee children with those of the local town. The children went to school, learned French and survived with relative comfort until the Vichy government stepped up its round-up efforts in mid-late 1942. Unfortunately, six teenage boys fell victim to one such round-up. Two of them survived multiple concentration camps but the other four never returned. After this devastating experience, the childrens' protectors vowed to do everything they could to disperse their charges to safer private homes and/or ferry them across the border into Switzerland. As a result, many survived the war, though they would never be reunited with their parents.

It was most gratifying to see that Yad Vashem in Jerusalem, Israel has honored these brave individuals who put their own lives on the line for doing something that seems humanly basic: protecting the young and innocent. We heartily recommend this well-done documentary.

Unfortunate Formula

Although $12.50 isn’t a vast amount by any means, I wish I had both the money and the time I’d spent watching “Black Swan” back. Unfortunately, the perceived formula for successful films in Hollywood today is a strange one. Movies don’t seem to have a straightforward plot line anymore – today’s directors want them to have an “edge”. In the case of Black Swan, it is laced with horror, hallucinations and lesbian love scenes. I will deal with the altered version of the ballet’s choreography later.

As things turned out, I had not intended to watch this movie in the theatre. I did not have a strong enough interest in it and was content to wait to view it on Netflix. But as it was a rainy day and my husband and I could not get in to see the movie of our first choice, we fell back on Black Swan instead. The feeling of the settling for next best is not a consoling outcome, but we tried to make the best of it. Being an afternoon matinee, the theatre was not even 1/3 full. Once the movie began, as with most these days, the volume of the music hit us over the head like a sledge hammer. Not a great way to start. But it was the troubling multitude of messages that the story included that turned us both off. Having been a professional dancer myself, for a short while, I could identify with the life that was depicted, to some degree. But, the movie’s story line accentuated some the public’s perceptions of a ballet dancer’s life and outright distorted other aspects, making the viewer almost uneasy as the story developed.

Natalie Portman, in the lead role, does an excellent job in this otherwise Twilight Zone-ish story, even if her character is lacking the confidence a successful dancer needs to get to the top. Dancers with timidity simply don’t get ahead in the dog-eat-dog world of ballet. That aside, she is beautiful to watch on the screen and has done considerable homework in preparing for this role. Her carriage and movements are well executed, though many of the shots and scenes that involve detailed pointe work are executed by a professional dancer that doubles for her. But viewers may feel somewhat nauseated from the dizzying camera work that prevails throughout much of the film. I suppose one of the “techniques” that directors use when shooting a film where they want to convey the illusion and not too much detail, is to keep the cameras darting about. Well, it may cover up the finer details but it is infuriating to watch. Many of the scenes come across as a blur and I didn’t like it at all. I could have used a dose of Dramamine.

I felt that the story itself had potential and they didn’t have to Hollywood-ize with the horror sub-plot. Today’s moviegoers apparently want all the whiz-bang effects as well as watching a movie that includes scenes with bi-sexual and homosexual overtones.

I did like the use of the ballet’s music throughout the movie as an appropriate accompaniment. But as I mentioned earlier, the volume in the theatres is simply too loud. It gets to a point where it not only hurts one’s ears but it is so loud that it ruins the effect. As for the choreography, it left much to be desired. The story line is one of a leading New York ballet company putting on a “new version” of the classic Swan Lake. For the record, I’m not big on “new versions” of classics. A classic is a classic for a reason … because it will live forever and therefore shouldn’t be tampered with. Yes, I know, everyone has put his stamp on it, from modern to jazz to an all male gay version. The problem though with this choreography was that it truly looked ridiculous. It wasn’t believable and didn’t fit within the story line. But once again, the camera did so much whizzing and darting around to “cover” for the non-dancer actresses that it was most annoying. I won’t say anything more about the plot in case you want to see it but think twice before you lay down $12.50!

A Necessary Movie

One has no trouble coming to logical and just conclusions about the perpetrators of evil in any war, but rarely do we think about their children, who are left to live with an awful legacy. That is the foundation for this moving and complex film. Titled “Inheritance”, it aptly describes the proverbial baggage that is handed off, in this case, to the daughter of one of World War II’s most monstrous participants – Amon Goeth. As commandant of the Płaszów concentration camp in Kraków, Poland, he was feared as someone who tortured and killed Jews regularly.

After viewing Steven Spielberg’s now famous movie, “Schindler’s List”, Goeth’s daughter Monika is confronted with the image and legacy of her father and must somehow come to terms with reality. Through no fault of her own, she endeavors to make sense of the past by reaching out to one of the survivors of the camp. It is an extraordinary action which is met with equal compassion by Helen Jonas-Rosezweig – Goeth’s Jewish slave servant during his time at the camp.

I was quite moved by the bravery on both their parts and though not an easy movie to watch, it is a very necessary documentary which serves to remind us not only of the mistakes of the past but of the redemptive possibilities for the future. I highly recommend it!

The Least We Can Do is Say Thank You!

As a volunteer at the Bob Hope Hollywood USO - LAX, I see these men and women as they pass through the Los Angeles Airport. It is an honor to be able to thank them for their selfless service. Because of them, we sleep securely and wake knowing they are on the front lines protecting our freedoms. Please go to this site and send them a thank you - it's the least we can do for the sacrifices they've made. Thank you!

Truly Amazing Times

I was out for my afternoon walk, not too long ago, on a lovely Fall day in Los Angeles, and I made an observation that almost struck me with the weight of the proverbial ton of bricks. I don’t know why the realization had not occurred to me before, but it wasn’t until just that moment that I felt quite connected with our time. I observed how so many people were walking around, going about their lives, but connected to music of their choice with electronic ear “buds” securely snug in their ears. I just hadn’t realized how pervasive it is. And then, it started me thinking. The ideas and questions rushed through my mind at an exciting pace.

I too was connected to my electronic device that day, listening to my favorite classical music. Somehow, classical music brings out even more beauty in the sky and scenery. I ventured a safe bet though, that most people probably listen to music of the harder (or harsher) nature. But be that as it may, I marveled at the amazing technology that permits us all to take our inspiration and motivation with us. It calms us when we are nervous, inspires us when we are searching for that spark and pushes us when we are uncertain. That so much wonderful music is literally at our fingertips is a wondrous thing.

It was not all that long ago that I remember carrying, what now seems like, a rather bulky Walkman CD player. I recall how I had to keep it steady so as not to impact the mechanism inside which required a certain level of stability to operate uninterrupted. And of course, prior to that, there was the bulkier Walkman cassette. Going back any further than that seems utterly prehistoric.

Then, my thoughts drifted to the realm of “what would they think?”. I tried to imagine what the great composers might think of the notion that we could hear their marvelous creations anytime we wanted. We did not have to hope to be invited to an exclusive music soirée in some secluded, private salon, nor did we have to purchase an expensive ticket to a long-awaited concert. All we have to do is merely hit PLAY and we are transported to another world. The technology almost seems magical yet it is within reach of so many. That in itself, is the beauty of capitalism and the free market which has served us well. Oh, how I do love this time in which we live!

Reviving an Old Passion

How often in life do we get a second chance to follow a passion of ours? Mine came only just recently. To be more precise, it was August 17, 2010. Anyone that knows me well, or has read my prior blog about my love of ballet and classical music, knows how much each of them means to me. That I had to make a choice between these two artistic outlets so early in my life was difficult. I would remember that sense of loss. As I looked back at a life path that did not afford me an opportunity until much later on, I regretted the lost time. After the somewhat abrupt conclusion of my dance career at the tender age of 21, my life took a traditional turn toward marriage and raising a family. Thirteen years later, that marriage would dissolve and I would pick up the pieces and move on, to start my life anew. Throughout the seemingly long duration in-between, I never lost my love of the piano. It wasn’t until after I had comfortably settled in to my second and final life relationship with Peter, that my heart began to beat again with a strong desire to resume my piano studies.

It is strange how events in our lives gel at just a precise moment when everything comes together in that perfect harmony, triggering an action. That was what happened one evening when I was doing a search online for a piece of music at Apple’s iTunes store. Over the years, I had built a respectable collection of classical music, ranging from Bach to Prokofiev. Initially, this collection was comprised of LPs, then cassettes, and finally CDs. My desire to acquire beautiful pieces never ended. I was continually amazed when I would discover a piece I had not heard. Having one’s ear caught by a magnificent sound always renews my admiration and love for the genius that created it and the musician that was reproducing the sound today. But there was something quite special about this magnificent movement, written by Robert Schumann. It seemed to speak to me, almost beckoning me to come back to the sound I had always loved.

I began to imagine having a piano in our 2 bedroom condo and wondered if it would even be possible. Living in an apartment building has its limitations and the issue of noise was certainly one of them. I wasn’t sure how I would get around this, but was not going to let it dampen my spirits. I looked up the location of a well-known piano store in our area with which I was familiar. Walking into their showroom was a delightful experience just in itself – to see all the magnificent pianos. I had no idea what to expect with styles, manufacturers, prices and sizes. I asked a lot of questions and was fortunate to work with a superb salesman. Not only did he guide me through the variety of choices, but we clicked as friends through the process of exchanging information on my ability and music background. As much as I wanted to have an acoustic piano in my life, I realized that the size and space issue was insurmountable. I’d also have to limit my practicing to reasonable hours so as not to disturb neighbors. For those that may not know me well, I am a serious nightowl and do my most productive work (needlepoint, writing and now practicing) after midnight. This would definitely present a problem. But my salesman offered a solution: one of Yamaha’s digital pianos, the Clavinova, is entirely electronic and could be either muffled in volume or I could mute it entirely by connecting headphones.
It also had a much smaller “footprint” which blended in our living arrangement more suitably. This was a fantastic way around my major hurdles, not to mention that I was extremely impressed with the quality of sound produced by an electronic version. I could tell the slight difference, but it was minimal and not enough to deter me from going forward with the purchase. My timing was propitious as well being that many units were marked down for their summer sale. I felt as if the stars were truly in alignment for me.

The next task was to find a piano teacher. Once again, Mark, my salesman, offered invaluable assistance. He pulled out a list of vetted instructors in my area and marked the ones with whom I would be most compatible, in his judgment. Though many instructors will come to your home, I wanted someone in my area for convenience, as well as being able to play their piano in their home. This would allow me to remember the “feel” of an acoustic piano. There is a difference in the touch of the two very different systems – an acoustic piano works off of vibration, with the hammers hitting the strings and then having the sound reverberate off the soundboard of the instrument. Once again, I highly recommend viewing the movie “The Making of a Steinway: L1037” which shows the creation of a piano from the cutting of the wood to being tested in its final stages before going on the showroom floor.

I lucked out and found someone within my neighborhood who is a good fit for me at this point. I had my 3rd lesson today and have successfully completed my first two assigned pieces. We essentially have picked up where I left off and will strengthen weaknesses as we go forward. In the meantime, I couldn’t be happier with my decision to recapture a dream and passion of mine. But unlike my childhood experience, I have a much fuller appreciation as an adult, and almost feel a sense of urgency now that I have resumed this pursuit later in my life. I am looking forward not only to the joy of each coming musical accomplishment but also to having that glorious sound in our home. Peter says it makes him happy to hear me practice and conquer each piece. I intend to make the most of this second chance!