The Sheer Joy

It is very difficult to express how much joy I am deriving from playing the piano once again. Having the opportunity to revive a passion is a rare experience and I’ve discovered that going back to my piano studies has made my life so much richer. There is the inevitable challenge of returning to the keyboard and awakening the skills that lay dormant in me for so many years, but I am relishing that challenge each time I sit down at the piano. In the beginning, frustration is a frequent emotion as well as other obvious hurdles I have to overcome, such as nervousness, my sense of impatience, solidifying my sight-reading and developing the dexterity in my fingers – all of which are that much more difficult in later years. But I also feel a renewed sense of determination that I did not have as a child that pushes me in a more focused direction. I willingly sit down at the piano each day with a real sense of purpose and determination that I did not have as a 10 year old. I find practicing to be absorbing and gratifying and will easily clock 3-4 hours over the course of the day.

I am also making continual and fascinating discoveries regarding how our brains retain information and how our fingers develop muscle memory. The process is an amazing and intriguing one. Each day I learn something new about myself, as I make little leaps of progress. Sometimes it is two steps forward and one step back and other times it is one step forward and two steps back. But remarkably the brain “figures it out”, and over time, I will see a breakthrough that is so utterly exhilarating, it takes my breath away. When I least expect it, I will hear and see myself effortlessly play a passage that I had struggled with for days. I may then lose it for a little bit, but it does eventually come back. Of course, achieving consistency is the real hallmark of ultimate progress and I know in time, that too, will come.

I feel truly blessed to be able to pursue this love of music that I hold so dear in my life. I am also very fortunate to be able to study with an inspiring and supportive teacher that knows just how much to push me, so I can realize my potential. What that potential is at this point, I cannot tell, but the journey is an instructive one, to be sure, and a glorious pursuit.