My First Year Back at the Piano

As I look back on my past entries on my site, it has been just over a year since I began documenting my thoughts and passions. Where does the time go? I am re-reading my entries with great fondness and they bring me joy now, just as they did when I wrote them. I also noticed that it will be exactly one year (on August 20th) from the date that I resumed my piano studies. I can't deny that having seen the fascinating DVD on the Steinway factory, and the production process of its magnificent pianos, probably had something to do with my decision. Thank goodness for that glorious catalyst.

The past year has truly been an amazing journey for me - not only in the development of my piano skills but also in the lessons it has taught me about myself as I go through the rigors of developing my keyboard technique and "finding my voice" as it were on the instrument I love so much. When I set out a year ago to pick up where I left off so many years ago, I had visions and expectations that were probably highly unrealistic. One should never give up their goals but I learned that my sense of ambition had to be tempered somewhat while I solidified my foundations at the piano. It was not easy to put a lid on my aspirations, albeit temporarily, but I realized that if I continued to mentally pound away at myself as I was, I'd burn out very quickly and lose all I'd worked for. Of course, this realization didn't come in a timely fashion - it's only been in the last month that I've gotten ahold of my emotions and learned to calm down and ease up on myself at the piano. On several occasions, my piano books were flung on the floor and many tears of disappointment were shed. I wanted so badly to regain my technical bearings and I now understand that I pushed myself too hard when I should have been enjoying the experience.

I am lucky to be studying with a supportive and encouraging teacher, Tsoliné Hajian, who has shown me patience throughout. This road of discovery has been one of emerging self-awareness. It is not easy making these critical assessments of oneself, coming to grips with your shortcomings and limitations. We all have dreams and goals but a skill such as this takes time to develop and ripen. There are so many aspects of which I am continuing to gain control - from finger dexterity & strength to my frame of mind (controlling my emotions, state of relaxation and concentration). I think I have finally begun to accept how very intricate playing the piano is. It is not simply hitting the right notes, but a far more complex task than that. In the past month I've worked hard to stay relaxed and to truly enjoy my practice sessions, always being conscious to pace myself. Sitting down and practicing has never been a chore for me. Oddly enough though, the real challenge is being aware of when to get up, walk away and take a break. It has been a real eye-opener for me in so many respects. But I am enjoying my playing much more now that I am taking it one note at a time, one day at a time.